finally after all this struggle

you’ve simply had enough of drowning

rules

hello! I’m birdie, a twenty-something brit with five pets, too many tattoos, two jobs and a deep love for lost-cause muses. I’ve been around on this hell-site a very, very long time so it’s not hard to find out my actual name - I’ll likely tell you if we talk ooc. all replies are queued to post between 12pm and 5pm GMT to keep them steadily coming out; I do my best to spread out replies to the same people so nobody gets overwhelmed by my presence in their tag or on their dash. the exception to this are mains who have given me permission to drown them in attention. if we talk ooc and you’d like to be mains please just bring it up - you’ll likely make my day.please, please be wary that this blog does contain both mentioned canon stalking and attempted murder. maeve’s consequent PTSD, depression and borderline agoraphobia will be dealt with on this blog. whilst it will be tagged (trigger tw) I can’t promise I won’t ever slip up. if you need anything tagged that I haven’t, just let me know. all I ask is that your muse never, ever, spits at mine. url was previously memoryfaded.

the psd used on all current icons is a mix of saturn, white whale and one of my own making. all original screencaps were from kissthemgoodbye (mos), venturousheart (das boot), tuppencetrinkets and chaoscommissons (Truth be Told). the template used for all banners is template 1; any images used for her teen/child fc’s icons are from joey-king.org. icon template is from fleursource.I tend to check my followers once a week, so I may not follow back instantly - I don’t roleplay with anime characters or characters who don’t have a real fc ( i.e only have animated icons / fc ).maeve is a genius, I’m not, so any inconsistencies are likely down to me being a fool. we barely got a total of half an hour of real maeve time so a lot of this blog will be based on headcanons && my impression of the character. at her core though, maeve is a kind, lost person in need of friendship and support.

biography

ㅤname:ㅤ ㅤmaeve donovan
ㅤbirthday:ㅤ ㅤ15 Nov.
ㅤeducation:ㅤ ㅤPhDs in Genetics, Botany and in Entomology, BAs in English Literature and in Philosophy, BSc in Biochemistry.

❝ if you're going to kill me, you kill me. but i'm not jumping.

ㅤeyes:ㅤ ㅤlight green
ㅤhair:ㅤ ㅤbrown, dyed blonde when being stalked by diane
ㅤdistinguishing features:ㅤ ㅤa scar on the right side of her temple from being shot, little scars on back from going through a glass table
ㅤface claim:ㅤ lizzy caplan
ㅤfamily:ㅤ adopted by joe and mary

ㅤreligion:ㅤ ㅤjewish
ㅤorientation:ㅤ ㅤbisexual
ㅤlanguages:ㅤ ㅤenglish, ASL, some BSL, hebrew, french, german, russian, several others that are mostly reading skills
ㅤcareer:ㅤ ㅤgeneticist, university professor, has been published in many highly respected journals.

I am thinking of faith now
and the testaments of loneliness

ㅤcurrent main verse:ㅤ ㅤstar trek
ㅤspecies:ㅤ ㅤhalf human / half romulan ( disguised as half vulcan )
ㅤrank:ㅤ ㅤvaries between Lieutenant and Lieutenant commander, commander in post show settings.
ㅤdivision:ㅤ sciences

ㅤupbringing:ㅤ ㅤmainly vulcan and earth post adoption, prev. a colony
ㅤmental health:ㅤ ㅤwell hidden anxiety and depression, severe childhood thalassophobia.
ㅤalignment:ㅤ ㅤlawful good / chaotic good

ㅤfurther information:ㅤ ㅤfull information is available in her verse carrd, and her verse tag has all the latest headcanons and threads.

the bullet doesn’t kill her. it almost does - it does, in many ways. for a year, she rests in the kind of coma nobody believes will break: her parents cry, they barely leave her bedside, it breaks their hearts to see their little girl in such a state. a nasty white scar forms on the left side of her temple, raised and jagged, a reminder of how close diane came to getting her final wish. her father can’t cope with looking at it, his visits always marked by a flower tucked in her dark hair, petals masking the damage.when she wakes, maeve needs time. time to talk, time for the patches in her memory to slowly untangle enough for her to recognize the world around her. she’s fragile in so many more ways than simply physically: the damage inflicted to her very identity from so many months of hiding, of alone in the world… she’s no longer certain who she is. how who she was before bobby and who she is now are linked by anything more than the same damaged skin. even as she regains familiarity with her body, maeve is a stranger to herself, body trained to react with panic to anything it reads as a threat.it’s a shame it views everything as terrifyingly overwhelming.

they all see it coming: her mother, freshly recovered from her cancer, her father with his watery eyes… reid, with the gentleness that makes her heart ache. she needs more time && that time has to be her allowing herself to heal as she needs. it’s no surprise and she makes no effort to sneak off without a word. instead it’s a discussion, full of promises, full of ‘somedays’. she’s always been brilliant - she doesn’t struggle to find universities all over the countries gladly offering for her to teach at them, understanding her need to keep moving.maeve doesn’t ask reid to wait for her. selfishness has never been in her nature. it could take years for her to recognize herself && it’s a journey she needs to take alone. but, for as long as he writes back, every week he receives letters from her with dried flowers native to the areas she’s in and blue ink signing:
slowly, it starts to look like her handwriting again.she didn't leave when she should have before. this time, leaving means she has time to truly get to know who she is outside of genius or the demands of others.

at her core, she has always been hopeful and painfully curious. that nature doesn’t die: as she allows herself the time she needs, her heart heals as much as her physical wounds. wherever she goes - be it forwards, or returning to those she knew, maeve begins to learn that maybe being someone new (a mix of old, damaged && repaired) isn’t so bad.academics, science, have always been her life. her ex-fiance and her stalker are dead, it isn’t the time for anything more than friendships: she needs to relearn who she is before her future can be more than the same mistakes over and over. instead lecturing saves her life – bouncing between university after university, never longer than a term or two, long enough to truly change her students’ futures yet not long enough to get attached. she’s healing but there’s no way to rush getting over how the emptiness of her year in the coma has left her a little more hesitant of a world she’s rediscovering.

mains & exclusives

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cameron mitchellduefaithship exclusive
carol danversDANVERSIISMexclusive
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